Do you ever just lay in bed rethinking the day and cringe with decisions you’ve made or things you’ve said?!
Some nights I just want to wake them up and say I’m sorry for something that happened during the day. The struggle is so real some days. Standing by what you’ve said and being consistent with the punishment you have to give is seriously hard!! Especially in public. It feels like you can’t win sometimes. You either are to lenient or a mean mom. Either way your terrible. No one tells you about the mental struggles you face as a parent, questioning your daily decisions, if it’s the right thing. What works for one kid doesn’t work for the other. So if it works for your best friends kids it might not work for yours. They are all so different!!
So when you are constantly being told what you should and shouldn’t do by friends and family and the onslaught of parenting advice from the media it honestly can get to you. Especially when you have a, well we’ll call her a spirited child. Our daughter isn’t a bad kid by any means, she just legit refuses to listen. To anything. No matter tone, height of said tone, or where we are. It’s a daily struggle. Similar to how our Saint Bernard Hank knew he was stronger than I was, he never listened either. Tonight I want to just crawl into bed and cuddle her. Just one of those nights where I’m bursting with emotions and I want to smother her in love.
I know her strong will, imagination, vocabulary, will all be amazing for her once she’s older. But man oh man is it hard some days. I want nothing more than my daughter to stand up for herself and not have to rely on anyone to defend her, but she will know we will always no matter what be on her side.
Watching the kids interacting with others when they’ve never met before is an experience. One that you have to sit back and just watch. Some days it stresses me out not knowing how they will behave with kids they just met, especially when there’s an age difference. I find myself telling people her age constantly, trying to let them know that she’s tall but little. We expect more from tall kids and we shouldn’t. They are still toddlers even though they are half the size of an adult. Kids in the playground wondered why she wasn’t talking at 1 but was the same height as a 5 year old. I know I’ll have to explain for years that she’s the way she is because she’s actually acting her age. It’ll be the same for Parker as well. He’s 1.5 and wears 3-4t sizes so there’s no difference there.
Every day is a learning experience and i have no clue what I am doing. Fingers crossed we find something that will work because I need her help too. Know that I’m with you momma if your struggling with discipline, and don’t let the man get you down.
Much love
Xoxo
Simone
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