I have a problem. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before. Control. The inability to allow the kids to be 100% free from me telling them what to do. I know its a problem and its something I’m working on daily. It really comes out when we are in public. I’m constantly worrying about what is about to happen. They are a big presence anywhere we go. Full of very large emotions and loud stories. I am not a shy person, things don’t embarrass me easily so I m not 100% sure why I am so concerned when we go out about what will transpire.
We were at the splash park the other day, Parker was home with dad and Florey and I were my husbands Aunt and cousin. Florence does a lap of the kiddy pool, trolling for friends she’d like to play with I would assume. We know no one there and as far as I know she’s never met any of the kids. Although I have learned on other outings in town that she definitely knows more people than I do, because of going to the day home. One little girl wanted to play with her, and kept following her around and laughing and splashing like they were playing, yet Florey pretty much ignored her and continued searching for other toys and friends. One little girl came up to her and wanted to play mermaids. She gave Florey a plastic mermaid and she had one and I thought ahhhhhh this is what I wanted for her. This is the first time that there have been kids her age mostly in the pool. There are usually older ones and younger but none her age. Part of me got a little to excited about it. The mom smiled at me and I returned it. Florey took the mermaid and wondered to the other side of the pool……the little girl looked a little defeated, and another girl wanted the mermaid. Mermaid girl got her googles and decided to do some diving. That got Florey interested in her again. Watching the kids is some of the funniest things to see, they are all always looking for a better time. At some point we (some of us) get over that. I was proud of her on Sunday, she played well only a few near drownings (of bigger kids) she shared toys, she gave them back when others started to cry. She LISTENED!!! So so well. We even went to play in the park after the splash park, and got in the van without having to carry a screaming kicking child. It was a great outing. It gave me hope!
Then everyone left. We’ve had my parents for two weeks, and then we had all of my husbands family here on Saturday and his aunt and uncle and cousin from Friday till Monday. We’ve had a house full of people and busy long days, which she thrives off of. I realize the older I get a house full of people stresses me out. She’s like me in my younger years and thrives off chaos.
So all that hope of actually going out to public areas was drained yesterday when she realized by the afternoon that she’s stuck again with just me and her little brother. Needless to say the listening stopped and the doing whatever she wanted mixed with screams of anger and beating her brother ensued. But like me they are still slowing down from all the business of people and things to do. Quiet days of doing nothing are needed sometimes. Even though it’s like a form of punishment for her. So we reset and try and figure out what to do without everyone around. Maybe ill take our chances today and go find some dinosaurs.
We found the Dinos. It was wonderful.
Much love
Xoxo
Simone
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