I let him sleep and as he does My held breath fills the room with love

Well today is my first post for @thekidsarealwaysdirty. Back in the day, way way back in the day when I was young and single and a mess I had a blog. Back then blogging was only just beginning and I used it more as an outlet for myself to let the crazy out. I mean we didn’t have influencers, instagram, or facebook then, so the idea that people might read my ramblings didn’t even occur to me.

Today is an indoor rain day, so while Parker naps and Florey paints a old diaper box, I decided to start the blogging.

I am now a mother of two wild ones, a 3.5 year old girl and a 1.5 year old boy. After 5 miscarriages and to many to count trips to the doctor and fertility clinic we were surprised with our Florence Ocean. A year later we were doubly surprised with Parker Jaspers conception. So that’s what I will write. I will write about pieces of our journey to where we are, I will be open and honest and never hold back with how after two children those miscarriages still weigh heavy on my heart. I know how old they all would be. I will speak about the things that people don’t want to admit to or talk about. Because that is who I am and I don’t apologize for that.

I have kicked around the idea of writing about us many many times. I have always loved to write for as long as I can remember. The more I read mom blogs though and see the rosy coloured pictures its harder and harder to find the truth. The screaming, the head banging, the run always, the melt downs, the real deal. Not saying these other mommas aren’t working through it too, cause I know we are all just trying to make our days happy and show people we have it together. But I haven’t met a mom yet that has got it all together!

So here I am. I am nothing but honest and blunt. I like to think of those things as part of my personality and charm. I have heard otherwise on occasion.

So here is where I lay it down. I’d love for you to join me on this journey of motherhood and where it sometimes leaves me crying on the deck so they kids don’t see. Or having to close the windows so the neighbours don’t hear me yelling. Where I love so hard it hurts my heart to see them cry, and hug them to tight, where I watch them sleeping so thankful for the crazy my life has become. I’m just trying to make it through the day in one piece, and keep my little wild ones alive. But one thing I know for sure. The Kids really are always dirty.

Much love xoxo

Simone