When was the last time you did anything alone? I’m not talking about going to the store and picking up milk.
I’m talking, When was the last time you went to the bathroom alone. Let’s get this out there right now. If you are uncomfortable talking about poop, going to the bathroom, poop, then you should probably not continue to read my blogs. Not to say that every post will contain a poop discussion but I can for sure tell you the biggest thing people don’t tell you about parenthood is how much poop you will unfortunately have to be in contact with. Also if me talking about myself going to the bathroom is uncomfortable, i cant guarantee this will not be the only time it comes up, so tread carefully while reading.
This morning I had the kids eating breakfast and I figured that was my chance to head to the toilet after half a pot of coffee, if you catch what I’m putting down. Anyways, of course I am unaware of why I continue to think that they would leave me alone because i closed the door. We all know that the only time your children want to have your attention is;
1. You are on the phone with someone who needs your full attention and doesn’t appreciate screaming children in the background.
2. You are on the phone.
3. You have left the room.
4. You are cooking dinner and the chicken is raw so it’s obviously time to eat why are you holding back all this food that can be eaten right this minute.
5. You have gone to the bathroom.
So at this time I don’t even want to be in the bathroom because well, we are also doing the keto diet and i drink more coffee than I should. Florence of course comes flying in and it was like watching her hit a brick wall. Her hand instantly covers her mouth, her face crinkles up, she glares at me as if I have just slapped her. I tell her to get out eat your breakfast (not sure how she would now) and close the door. So that happens and three minutes later i realize there’s no toilet paper. Argh. I yell and bribe her to come back in to get me a roll. It’s amazing how a three year old can make you feel like you have just killed every seahorse in the world with your bare hands.
There isn’t much I miss from my days of sleeping in and not having to make sure I keep more than myself alive. The one thing I do miss, its those quiet moments in the bathroom where it was just me and my phone.
(Picture for face reference)
Much love
Xoxo
Simone
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